I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
