I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
