Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize