hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
