You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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