I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
