oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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