help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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