If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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