The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
