You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I would ride that face into the sunset
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
