She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
