my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
