It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
