I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
