***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
