Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
