so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
