Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize