Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
