Are we in a gay sports bar?
and she was petting her beer can
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I want a musical about memes.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
