i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize