Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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