I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm at about main and main street
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Success! We fucked roommates!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
