Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You have to summon your inner elephant
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
