I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize