I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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