Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I puked a lego.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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