I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
