We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
