Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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