Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
