do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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