remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
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