Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
