We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize