You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize