for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
