Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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