Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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