I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
