bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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