Can i not drive my cunt home
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
