how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
