My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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