So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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