i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
