It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
