I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
