On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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