You're so nebulous sometimes
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize