Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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