so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
