I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
