once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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