Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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